Pre-Date Night
by Little Bucky
Summary: Thorin and Fili discuss Bilbo while Bilbo and Kili talk about Thorin. All before their first date.
1. Thorin and Fili

**PART ONE: THORIN AND FILI**

"You could at least pretend to be helpful," Thorin says, moving around Fili and into the bedroom again, ripping off his tie and groaning.

Fili laughs. "If I wasn't helpful, how come you listened to me almost immediately when I told you the tie looked hideous."

Thorin glares at his nephew, but it holds no heat and Thorin feels so tired. He lands on the bed, leaning his elbows on his knees. "What am I going to do? The reservation is in two hours, and I'm nowhere near ready."

The bed shifts as Fili sits down next to him. "Well, all you need is a blue shirt. Bilbo loves blue."

"No, he loves green. Like his garden," Thorin insists, looking around at the messy state of his room. "This was a bad idea. I should-"

"No no no," Fili says, cutting off Thorin's protests. "You two are the most ridiculous people on earth, and you love each other so much." Thorin still doesn't look convinced. "Tell me, who was the one who sat with you for days on end when you got the flu, knowing they would get sick from doing so?"

Thorin sighs.

"Okay, and what about when Ki broke his arm, three of his ribs, and punctured a lung falling down the stairs. Who made sure you and mum ate food, plus Kili himself, while you all were in the hospital?"

"I get your point."

"No, I don't think you do," Fili insists. "Who told Dwalin, _Dwalin,_ off when he insisted _someone_ was just doing all those nice things because he wanted something out of it? Who was the one who made friends with Thranduil when you and Dwalin were being 'less than nice' and prevented a major lawsuit from happening?" Fili lowers his voice. "Who stayed with you when the anniversary of Frerin's death came? Who made you cookies and brownies and dinner for two weeks?"

Thorin looks at Fili, clearly wanting an answer to the tirade.

"Bilbo," Thorin says.

"Bilbo," Fili repeats softly. "And who loves you more than anything in this world?

Thorin doesn't even hesitate. "Dis."

Fili smiles, and pokes Thorin's cheek. "Good answer. But Bilbo too. God. The two of you are sometimes so nauseating, Ki and I have to literally leave the room. But of course, you wouldn't notice because you're too busy making eyes with Bilbo."

Thorin shoots him a look, but grins nonetheless. "Thank you, Fili."

"You're welcome, as always. Now," Fili says, standing. "Let's get a move on. At this rate, you'll miss your own wedding!"

Fili gets hit on the back of the head with a pillow. He just laughs.


	2. Bilbo and Kili

**PART TWO: BILBO AND KILI**

"Uncle Bilbo?" Kili calls out. "Bilbo?" The apartment is quiet, and he can hear Bilbo's cat moving around in the other room. The cat, in fact, walks over to Kili, rubbing her head against Kili's leg.

"Hey there, baby girl." He picks her up, and begins walking through Bilbo's apartment, and finally ends up seeing Bilbo outside, kneeling down over his small garden.

Kili puts the cat down, making sure not to let her out when he opens the door. "Bilbo?"

Bilbo jumps, his curses cut off purposefully. "You are your brother are going to be the death of me someday!" But Bilbo doesn't stand to greet him, just turns back to the dirt.

Kili walks over to him, sitting down in a spot where his pants won't get filthy. "What're you doing?"

Bilbo huffs, pulling on a tough weed. "What does it look like?" He triumphs, yanking the weed out of the ground and tossing it over his shoulder. "My plants need tending."

"Yes, I'm sure they do. But it's also almost time for you to have dinner. With Thorin. At a fancy restaurant."

Bilbo grumbles, and looks away from Kili.

"What was that?" Kili asks, leaning in closer.

"I said-" Bilbo sighs. "I said maybe this isn't a good idea."

"And why wouldn't it be?" Kili asks, remembering how thick-headed his two favorite uncles can get. Fili even specifically told him to not give up.

"Because-" Bilbo mists his plants with a spray bottle. "Because we have nothing in common. What are we going to talk about at dinner? It will be awkward and silent and I love all of you so dearly. I don't want to lose any of you."

Kili tilts his head, wide smirk on his face. "Even Dwalin?"

"Yes," Bilbo sighs. "Even Dwalin."

Kili grabs Bilbo's wrists, pulling them away from the garden and turning Bilbo so they are facing each other. "Bilbo, you are already like an uncle to me and Fi. You were there when I fell down the stairs, when Thorin got sick. Hell, Thorin was there when you got sick from him. You were even there when our uncle's anniversary came about." Kili leans in. "You're the only non-family member who's been invited to see Frerin's grave."

Bilbo's eyes widen.

"Plus, Thorin never shuts up about you. It's always 'Bilbo this' and 'Bilbo that'. I mean never-ending. Plus, I know you talk to your cat about Thorin."

Bilbo stutters out instant denials, but he's turning bright red. Kili laughs, and stands up, Bilbo following. "Come on, let's get you dressed."

"Excuse me?" Bilbo asks.

Kili shrugs. "I'm clearly going to have to pick out your outfit. You're all messy and smell like dirt." He rubs Bilbo's head, messing up his hair.

"I do not," he says, but scrunches up his nose.

"Yes, yes. Now, keep your cat out of your room. No cat hairs in your mouth tonight!" Kili shouts, and Bilbo elbows him in the ribs. Kili yelps in mock pain, but Bilbo is already moving back, hand on Kili's shoulder and concerned look plastered on his face.

Once Bilbo figures at what just happened, he rolls his eyes, but considerably less tense than when Kili found him. Kili counts it as a success.


End file.
